We’re going camping. I can bring 3 toys. That’s all they say will fit. I try to find Melody to say bye but she’s not at the park. When I come back my dad is talking to the van. He tells us to get in.
We drive by Melody’s house and I see her outside. She doesn’t see me wave. Her house doesn’t have a sign.
My DS is dead. My Furby is dead. Batteries always die. I put Elmo’s seatbelt on.
What do you want at McDonald’s?
What do you say?
Please.
My dad gets the Big Mac and my mom gets the McChicken. Mine has Kung Fu Panda. The van is hot. There are people in a line around the McDonald’s. They all hold a paper.
Can you put on the air conditioner?
It burns more gas.
I’m hot.
We’re all hot.
I beat the rule.
What rule?
3 toys.
We throw the garbage out the window. My dad is looking for something. A big truck honks. I hear bad words. It’s not my dad. He puts in a CD my mom hates.
Can we listen to something we all like?
I’m in the mood for this.
This isn’t even music.
You don’t like The Locust?
Let’s ask Jenny what she thinks.
Jenny.
What.
Do you like this CD?
I don’t really like it.
Why not?
It sounds like bugs in the blender.
They laugh at me. We laugh together. We’re happy for a little while. Then my mom asks my dad a question and their voices change and I don’t know what they’re saying.
The van curves up beside the shiny buildings. I wave at myself. We wave at each other. I see the van pulling the camper. When my mom told me we were going camping she was sad.
The camping place is the other way but I don’t say anything. My dad turns up the nasty music. My mom is sad again. She looks at herself in the shiny buildings. She doesn’t wave.
Can I play Tetris on your phone?
My phone is dead.
Plug it in.
Your dad’s phone is plugged in.
Can I plug in my DS?
Later, we’re almost there.
We’re still in the city.
My dad turns. I see the AMC. It’s the big mall we never go to. We drive round and round to the top of the parkade. There’s no cars. My dad backs up. We get out. My mom goes in the camper. My dad takes the van away from the camper. He parks the van next to it.
There is a long window with the whole city in it. There’s no glass in the window. It’s just a space. I ask my dad how long it is. He tells me to pace it. It’s 127 paces.
When my mom comes out of the camper she’s pretty. She tells me to come with her to cool down in the mall. We go down the long stairs. I make it echo. She says that’s enough.
Is the bank taking our house?
It’s not our house.
Yes it is.
Not quite.
It has all our stuff inside.
The bank owns the house and we pay the bank.
When are we going camping?
We’re going to camp here.
At the mall?
Just for a few weeks.
Why?
Mommy and daddy mismanaged their money.
But you have money.
It’s all gone.
You can get more.
We have to get jobs.
Where?
In the mall.
I don’t like this.
It’s just temporary.
What’s temporary?
Only for a little while.
How long?
Until we find an apartment.
How many days?
60 days.
That’s too long.
Your dad knows someone that’s letting us.
The mall is cool. We go by all the stores but don’t go in. We sit by the fountain under a big glass window. The water drops feel nice. There’s a rainbow in the splash.
My mom goes in her purse and takes out a little purse and takes out a penny and puts it in my hand.
Make a wish.
What should I wish?
Whatever it is you can’t tell me.
Why not?
It won’t come true.
Okay I wished.
Throw the penny in the fountain.
I wish for a Lego City but I don’t tell my mom. She throws a penny in the fountain. Her face is sad again. I think her wish is about my dad. She doesn’t tell me so it comes true.
I think we’re going to IHOP but my mom only talks to the lady. The lady gives my mom a paper like the ones people had at McDonald’s.
We sit at a table. My mom writes all over the lines and boxes. She has the only writing I can read. She could write an adult book. My dad is writing an adult book but he can’t finish it. The lady sits with us.
I’m Amanda, assistant manager.
I’m Casey.
You looking for part time or full time?
Anything.
I’ve got doubles on Thursday and Friday.
I can do that.
Do you have reliable transportation?
I live really close to the mall.
Come in tomorrow morning at 9.
Okay, thanks.
What’s your size?
Small, I think.
My mom shakes the lady’s hand. I ask for pancakes. She says no at first then maybe in a couple days.
My mom finds an elevator to go up to the camper. A girl like me gets inside with us.
Hi.
Hi.
How old are you?
I’m 7.
I’m 8.
What grade are you in?
Going into grade 3.
Do you live here?
Yes.
Do you want to be friends?
Yes.
I’m Jenny.
I’m Dayna.
This is my mom.
This is my stop.
Level 4.
What level are you?
I don’t know.
Bye.
Bye.
My mom makes my dad put on pants. She says it’s his turn. He asks if I want to come. I stay with my mom.
She sprays everything and wipes everything in the camper. She puts a sheet on the bed. She lets me charge my DS in the van. I lay down on the bed. When I wake up my mom is sleeping beside me.
I hear my dad’s dirty disgusting music. He’s listening to it in the van. I go out and get in the van. My DS is on the seat, charged. I look at the CD.
Anal Cunt.
Don’t say that.
What’s Anal Cunt?
It’s a bad word.
But what is it?
A person who’s picky about stuff.
Like mom?
People who are pickier than mom.
Why did they name themselves a bad word?
I think they thought it was funny.
I think it sounds like singing into the poopy toilet.
At times, maybe.
Where did you go?
I got a job.
You have a job.
Writing isn’t a job for me right now.
Where is your new job?
In the mall.
At a store?
Yes.
Which store?
Collectible Corner.
What do they have?
Baseball cards and stamps and stuff like that.
Cool.
It is cool.
Pokémon cards?
Thousands.
Whoa.
Whoa is right.
Mom got a job at IHOP.
I know. We’re employed.
What’s employed?
When you work.
But you do work. On your book writing.
Sometimes you have to work more.
My mom comes out and sits with us. She sits in my place. I stay sitting in her place. My dad tells her he got a job. She even kisses him on the cheek. My dad takes out the bad CD. We listen to the radio. They say it’s Obama. They are going to vote for him so he fixes everything. I don’t understand but I don’t ask what anything means.
He’s a time traveller.
What are you talking about?
He’s been to Mars.
You’ve been lurking online too much.
No seriously.
Obama time travelled to Mars.
Back when he was in college. He used a jump room.
A jump room.
Like an elevator, but for teleportation.
I thought it was for time travel.
It teleports you through time and space.
Sure man.
Watch him fix the economy.
What do jump rooms have to do with the economy?
He’s seen the future so he can manipulate the present.
Are you hungry, Jenny?
Yes.
Let’s get something to eat.
I could eat.
When we come back to the camper from Jack in the Box my dad makes the other bed.
The table folds down and the cushions lay on that. It’s different brushing my teeth because water
doesn’t come out of the tap. I rinse out my mouth with water from the store. I miss our house.
When I wake up my mom is already gone to IHOP. Her agenda is on the bed open to a
page with her writing. I know all the words but I don’t know what they mean together:
Nothing is changing yet
Is nothing changing yet
Changing yet nothing is
Yet changing is nothing
Yet is changing nothing
Changing is nothing yet
I’m supposed to stay in the camper until my dad gets back from Collectibles. The batteries in my DS die. It gets boring. I get out and take the elevator to my new friend.
Their camper is bigger. It has a little yard with a plastic fence and pretend grass. There’s 2 men sitting in the yard.
Is Dayna home?
She’s up inside.
Can I play with her?
Dayna.
The camper opens. She tells me to come in. It’s cozy. They have fluffy blankets and colourful lights but it’s not bright.
Do you like Dragonball Z?
Yes.
Let’s watch it.
Is that your dad?
That’s my dad and his friend.
They’re smoking yucky cigarettes.
That’s weed.
Weed?
It gets you higher than the sky.
Higher than the moon?
High as the moon. And it makes you lazy and happy.
My dad smokes it sometimes.
Does it make him lazy?
It makes him talk a lot.
My dad puts on murder music.
Where is your mom?
Not sure. Where’s yours?
She’s at IHOP. That’s her job now.
Can we get pancakes?
She says maybe in a couple days.
Cool.
I hear my dad calling. Then Dayna’s dad is talking. They talk for a minute. They laugh. I hear my name. When we ride the elevator he tells me not to go down there anymore because they’re wiggers.
What’s a wigger?
It’s a white person who pretends they’re black.
Dayna isn’t pretending that.
Her dad is.
It doesn’t matter.
It probably doesn’t.
Are you going to be friends with Dayna’s dad?
Probably not.
Why not?
I don’t like rap music.
I like rap.
You’ll grow out of it.
My mom brings bread and ham and cheese for supper. By then we’re starving. We eat in the van because my dad doesn’t want to take apart my bed. His phone rings. He flips it open. My dad’s phone is stuck on speaker.
Hello.
Is this TJ?
Yes.
This is Grant from Collectible Corner.
What’s up?
There’s a problem.
What’s that?
We’re missing that 1866 Abraham Lincoln.
I sold it.
There’s no transaction record.
Odd.
Not really. You’re on camera handing it to a guy.
I’m sure I sold it.
He’s on camera walking out with it.
I’m sure I rang it in.
You didn’t.
I can reimburse you.
It was priced at just under 2 grand.
Shit.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I’m sorry.
Don’t come back.
I’ll make it right.
Fuck you.
Everybody is quiet for the rest of the night. The only thing my mom says to my dad is he better finish his book.
The next day we go to IHOP. My mom is working. My dad brings his book.
What do you think of this?
It’s bigger, and messier.
It’s almost done.
It looks like it’s going to explode.
The loose papers and marks are what I have to correct.
That looks like too much.
I just need to come up with a plan.
What’s your book about again?
Brilliant men imagine a brighter future in the outer dark.
My mom comes and fills my dad’s coffee. My dad orders sausage and eggs. I order pancakes. When we’re done we go to the cyber café. He works on the computer and I play my DS. I play Mario and then Animal Crossing. When we leave my dad is happy. He says he got a lot done.
He takes me to McDonald’s in the van. I get a Happy Meal but it’s the same Kung Fu Panda. I keep it for Dayna.
When I go to Dayna’s I see her mom. She’s very pretty and she smokes weed. Dayna asks me if I want to play a game. It’s a racing game. One person goes in the elevator and one person runs up the stairs. I win both races. When we walk down to level 4 a man is sweeping the stairs. He’s very friendly and he smiles at us.
Dayna’s mom let’s me stay for supper. We eat Alphagetti. When I go up the stairs I see the same man. He smiles at me. He wiggles his eyebrows. He makes a sound at me for when you try to make a cat come to you. I run away.
On my way over to the camper I hear my mom. She’s talking in her scary voice and saying bad words.
What the fuck TJ.
I thought it was cool.
Did I say it was cool?
No, but it’s just breakfast.
You skipped out on the bill.
I thought you got a staff meal.
Yeah, a staff meal. I’m staff.
Sorry.
It’s like my second day.
Did they say anything?
They said you didn’t pay.
Did you pay?
Of course I fucking paid.
I’ll pay you back.
Sleep in the fucking van, asshole.
For how long?
Until you deliver the manuscript.
That could take a while.
Better get to work.
All right.
You need to get the rest of the advance when it’s done.
I can’t guarantee I’ll get it.
That’s not my problem.
I watch my mom throw a sheet and a pillow in the van. In the night I hear my dad’s gross music in the van. He is laying there with a flashlight and his book papers.
The next day is Saturday. I see my dad sleeping in the van. My mom lets me play with Dayna.
I give her the Kung Fu Panda but she already has it so we throw it away.
I share my DS with her and then it runs out of batteries. Her dad says I can charge it. I don’t understand because I can’t charge it in our camper. He says their camper has a generator. He shows it to us. He pours gas in it and pulls a cord and it starts. It’s very quiet.
We play the racing game again. When I come out of the elevator she is standing there waiting. She makes a face. A tow truck drives by. The van is hooked to it. My dad is waving out the back window. We wave at him. He is so scared. It’s the funniest thing ever. Me and Dayna laugh all the way back to level 4.
I stay for supper. Dayna’s mom makes us nachos in the microwave. We watch Dragonball Z and eat them and Dayna’s mom makes us more and we eat everything. When we go outside Dayna’s mom says my dad is back and I can go home.
It’s dark now. The van is gone. My mom isn’t in the camper. My dad is by the long open space. He is bent down looking into something. It’s my telescope.
Where did the tow truck go?
It went to the pound.
That was funny.
I was trying to get you to stop the man.
I thought you were waving.
I was.
We waved at you.
You should have waved at the tow truck driver.
I didn’t know.
He turns the piece where you put your eye and lets me look. The moon is there, big and round.
Can you see the moon?
Yes.
Do you know what the moon is?
It’s the moon.
Do you know what it’s made of?
Rocks.
That’s just the outside.
What’s on the inside?
People.
No.
It’s a spaceship with people inside.
No it’s not.
It is too. It’s a Nazi spaceship.
What’s a Nazi?
Nazi’s are German Europeans.
I don’t know any of that.
They tried to kill all the Jews.
What is the Jews?
Jews are a people.
Why did the Nazis try to kill them?
They thought they were too rich and powerful.
But the Nazis didn’t kill them though.
Not all of them.
What happened to the Nazis?
They left Earth.
Where did they go?
They went to the moon.
What are they doing on the moon?
They’re going to make a new world.
Nazi World.
That’s right.
Where’s their new world?
They haven’t found it yet.
Dustin Cole’s work has appeared in Expat Press and Apocalypse Confidential. He is the author of the novels Notice and Run the Bead and the poetry collection After Sunstone.